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Can you put a price on your relationship? How much is your friend worth to you? You’re probably thinking more than $50. Yet so many relationships are lost over the infamous ask “Can you loan me $xx?”
My husband and I never ever loan anyone money, even though there’s a chance we can get it back, there’s a bigger chance of dodged phone calls and distant relationships. And to be honest, it’s just not worth it.
What you should do instead of giving a loan
Instead, if someone asks us to loan them money, we look at what we have and ask one question. Are we able to give this person what they need with no strings attached? If the answer is yes, our answer to them is yes. We give them what they think is a loan (so they don’t reject the money) and then let them know, it’s a gift.
Yes, a gift. With no strings attached, no wondering or asking what they spent the money on.
Listen, the money you have is a gift from God. If you can help, why not bless someone with what God has blessed you with? The person asking us for money wouldn’t be asking if they didn’t need it.
It’s not our job to make a judgment on whether they’re going to use it for what we think they should. It’s our job to be stewards of the gifts God has given us.
In case you’re wondering, we’re also the people that give money to the people on the corner asking for it, whether they have a bottle of alcohol in their hand or not.
In the end, you’re able to be a blessing to someone and you may in turn be blessed for being a good steward of your money. Plus, you’ll feel good. I don’t know about you, but I love giving to people. It’s one of my greatest joys.
If you have a hard time giving, sometimes it takes some getting used to, and some discipline on our part, but in the end it is so worth it!
Don’t tell anyone.
In Matthew chapter 6 Jesus is very clear about what we should do when we do a good deed. Keep silent.
“Take heed that you do not do your charitable deeds before men, to be seen by them. Otherwise, you have no reward from your Father in heaven. Therefore, when you do a charitable deed, do not sound a trumpet before you as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory from men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, that your charitable deed may be in secret; and your Farther who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly.” Matthew 6:1-4
I think that speaks for itself, but just in case, don’t tell anyone. Especially in this situation, bragging about your good deed could humiliate the person who asked you for a loan. What’s the point of doing the good thing in the first place when in the end you shouted their business in the streets?
When to say no
Now of course, there is a difference between helping, enabling and being taken advantage of. Our yes is always a yes if it’s obvious we’re helping. If anything falls into the latter two categories, that’s when we turn to God in prayer and ask Him what to do. It’s always simpler when you ask the One who knows all the answers. When in doubt-pray it out!
My motto has always been to treat people the way I want to be treated. I would hate to ever be in a situation of need and find myself risking a relationship in order to get that need met. If you have it, why not give it? I’m sure whatever relationship you have is worth more than whatever it is that they are asking for. As long as they aren’t taking advantage of you, please consider giving a gift instead of a loan.
So how about you? Is there a relationship in your life worth mending over loaned money? Is this something you think you can implement in your family?
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